rainshaveceased

[muttering softly, like he really is half asleep,]

...Vergil said I used to play the piano.

[He tucks his face against Elidibus's hair.]

You used to be good at many things. You had more interests than even I know of, I'm sure.

... Do you wish to play the piano?

I have been thinking about it. That maybe it would be nice if I could do something like that. But...

But?

[shakes his head. don't make him talk about it]

[He gently tilts Elidibus's head up.]

Talk to me? If this has weighed on your mind, I would hear it

Did we not already agree that I did not have to speak of my fears right now?

..... You cannot bring it up and expect me not to pry at least somewhat.

[sigh]

Fair enough, I suppose.

There is... a vast gulf, it seems to me, between who I was and what I am now. So vast that just the idea of attempting to cross it is quite terrifying.

[He strokes Elidibus's cheeks with his thumbs, looking at him thoughtfully.]

It is hard to comprehend the man I once was.

And yet I can imagine that for you it is an even more daunting prospect. Which is why I do not want you to feel as if being that man is what you should be. Even to remember may be as painful and overwhelming as it might be enlightening or useful. Which is why it is your choice.

What part of it terrifies you so?

[with a bitter breath of a laugh]

Everything?

That my memories won't be as happy as I imagine them to be. That they will be happier and I will be faced with the full weight of what I have lost. That I will find myself wanting in comparison to my past self. That I will not even be able to recognise myself in that self. That my memories will not even feel like my own.

...Perhaps if those memories were all you had, that might overwhelm you.

[He tilts Elidibus's face up, kisses him very softly.]

I will not deny your fears. I will not claim they are unfounded, or unwarranted.

But there are new memories we intend to make, you, myself, Emet-Selch, together. Ones that will grow as we add to them day in and out. What we have been through will never be less painful, or tragic, or have changed us any less.

But what we can look forward to shall surely be more than what has passed, for we will ever nurture and grow it.

And none of us will take the blessings we fight for for granted, whether you remember everything or not.

I will hold you to those words.

[and he's cupping lahabrea's face with both hands to kiss him, this time harder than before]

[He's momentarily surprised by the vehemence, but he responds quickly. Fingers sliding back to grip Elidibus's hair against his scalp. Tilting his head in the kiss to part his lips and lick Elidibus's own lightly.]

[opening his own mouth as well, but that momentary burst of confidence is fading and he's not entirely sure how much is actually appropriate? because clearly that is a big concern?]

[Elidibus is a mess. It's a day ending in y.

He's not giving Elidibus a chance to agonize over it though because when his lips part he's slipping his tongue between them, tasting his mouth and keeping hold of the back of his head firmly. For all it is relatively slow and gentle it is no less heated for it.]

[honestly that's fine, right now he's happy to just let lahabrea take the lead and simply match his pace. there will be time for turning the tables on him later]

[There will be time later! At the moment he is simply going for a very deep and lingering kiss. Tongue licking Elidibus's, exploring his mouth, taking his time with it. And, well, there is more than just an edge of possessiveness in the way his fingers dig in a little or how his arm tightens around the other man.

When he parts to let them breathe he's examining the other man's face again.]

...New memories. I think they will be good ones.

[his smile is mild, his voice as toneless as ever, but there is a slight flush to his cheeks and he licks his lips to catch the last of lahabrea's taste on them]

[He huffs a little, amused, letting go of his grip on Elidibus's hair, to brush his fingers through it. ]

Really. I will have to do more to earn a blush won't I?

But yes. I do hope good ones are the majority.

It will certainly take some more to fluster me.

[brushing his fingers along lahabrea's cheeks, exploring the shape of his face]

But you made an excellent start.

Mmm, well that can be another personal goal then.

[He turns his face a little to kiss Elidibus's fingers.]

At this rate we may lose track of all the new goals we have set today.

[watching him, maybe just a tiny hint of colour rising to his cheeks]

I am always one to encourage ambition.

[But that's cute. Time to pursue it by catching his wrist and kissing his palm softly.]

Especially your own. I am aware.

[the blush does in fact keep increasing little by little]

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