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[rainshaveceased]

"You have reached the voicemail of Dignity. Please leave a message after the beep."

Comments

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

Mm.

[just going to stay like this for a while okok]

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

[That is fine too, he will hold him close and pet his hair and back quietly.]

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

[after a good while,]

...If I were to be severed from Zodiark, do you think it would remove my tempering?

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

I am unsure. I do not see why it would, when Hades and myself remain so, however.

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

That is a relief, at least.

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

I would not propose something so painful.

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

Only something moderately painful?

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

Growth can be quite uncomfortable, but is it not worthwhile?

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

Can it be considered growth if the goal is to recover my old memories?

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

Certainly. Unless you have no desire to remember?

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

I don't know.

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

....I see.

I have said before but I do not wish us to regress to who we once were. That would be rejecting all we have been through and become. Even should that be imperfect.

Yet I wonder if you can truly move forward without remembering.

But that is something only you can decide.

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

[closes his eyes and falls quiet for a long while again

actually he's so quiet that maybe he just fell asleep?]

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

[Well that's fine? He'll shift slightly to get more comfortable, brushing his fingertips up and down Elidibus's spine softly. If he's asleep he'll just bask in being able to hold him. Why would he interrupt?]

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

[muttering softly, like he really is half asleep,]

...Vergil said I used to play the piano.

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

[He tucks his face against Elidibus's hair.]

You used to be good at many things. You had more interests than even I know of, I'm sure.

... Do you wish to play the piano?

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

I have been thinking about it. That maybe it would be nice if I could do something like that. But...

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

But?

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

[shakes his head. don't make him talk about it]

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

[He gently tilts Elidibus's head up.]

Talk to me? If this has weighed on your mind, I would hear it

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

Did we not already agree that I did not have to speak of my fears right now?

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

..... You cannot bring it up and expect me not to pry at least somewhat.

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

[sigh]

Fair enough, I suppose.

There is... a vast gulf, it seems to me, between who I was and what I am now. So vast that just the idea of attempting to cross it is quite terrifying.

Re: 430 probably

[temperedinpride]

[He strokes Elidibus's cheeks with his thumbs, looking at him thoughtfully.]

It is hard to comprehend the man I once was.

And yet I can imagine that for you it is an even more daunting prospect. Which is why I do not want you to feel as if being that man is what you should be. Even to remember may be as painful and overwhelming as it might be enlightening or useful. Which is why it is your choice.

What part of it terrifies you so?

Re: 430 probably

[rainshaveceased]

[with a bitter breath of a laugh]

Everything?

That my memories won't be as happy as I imagine them to be. That they will be happier and I will be faced with the full weight of what I have lost. That I will find myself wanting in comparison to my past self. That I will not even be able to recognise myself in that self. That my memories will not even feel like my own.