rainshaveceased | psl with noah!!

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[a part of ahrun'ya had been thinking about it--how could he not, with their faces so close, with elidibus's breath mingling with his own? but he didn't think elidibus would do it, even though he has to admit they've been dancing around their mutual attraction for some time now... long before this dream.

but here he is: this man his heart hurts to think about, both in longing and in sorrow, with his lips pressed to ahrun'ya's. he feels his own desires suddenly surge, and he parts his lips with a soft gasp, kissing back with barely-restrained want]

[it is an immeasurable relief that ahrun'ya responds. if he had not, elidibus would have had to die again right there and then.

but he does respond, and that means the kiss can continue, and that's a few more moments of not having to consider the repercussions of this reckless action.]

[the repercussions are that there is a catboy who is kissing you, elidibus

moreover, his hands are moving to cradle elidibus's face, holding him close as he deepens the kiss, a low rumble in his chest rising into a purr]

[the catboy kissing him is a serious repercussion for many reasons!!

but also the purring is cute and the kiss is good and he's looping his arms behind ahrun'ya's neck to hold onto him]

[ahrun'ya is perfectly content to be held and to hold onto him, pressing as close as he can and sighing into elidibus's mouth. they might have to talk about this in a minute, but right now the only thing that matters is kissing him. there's so many emotions in this kiss, things that can't be said with words, that ahrun'ya has wanted to express for so, so long]

[this kiss means so much, and that is what makes the prospect of actually talking about it so terrifying. for that reason, and just because it feels good, it would be nice if it could go on forever.

unfortunately, it can't. eventually elidibus has to pull away, though only by a hair's breadth. he does not speak yet, still breathless and unable to verbalise what just happened.]

[ahrun'ya would also like for the kiss to go on for a long, long time, inhaling quickly when he can breathe again. he doesn't open his eyes at first, gently bumping his forehead against elidibus's as he catches his breath.

eventually when he opens his eyes his pupils are wide, almost blown. he lowers his fingers on elidibus's face but only a few ilms, unwilling to let go completely]

[elidibus closes his eyes when ahrun'ya opens his, reluctant to face him so openly. when he finally manages to gather himself enough to speak, his voice is faint.]

...I should not have enjoyed that as much as I did.

[bumps his nose to elidibus's, and to his cheek, affectionate. his voice is similarly soft, almost a whisper]

Is it such a bad thing... to enjoy it?

It is a complication I had hoped to avoid.

... I probably shouldn't have enjoyed that as much as I did, either.

[rueful, but only a little. there's a smile forming at the edge of his lips]

But I don't mind it... having a complication, that is.

Mm.

[he opens his eyes and smiles]

I cannot truthfully claim to regret it, myself.

[slowly smiles as he sees elidibus's expression, his own full of fondness]

... good. This is... a good look on you.

It has been a very long time since I had a reason to smile.

[runs his thumb over elidibus's cheek]

I'm flattered.

[he is. his tail is swishing]

I want to give you more reasons to smile.

[chuckles softly]

I suppose this is an answer, then. To what we are, if neither friends nor enemies.

Lovers, then?

[he says it and then realizes that may have been a tad too bold, and he swallows and glances down between them, fumbling]

I mean... if... i-in a sense, that is...

[he pauses for a moment, and one can practically hear the gears turning in his head as he decides on how to approach this]

...Why not? That is what I wished for when I first knew you, after all.

Really...?

[swallows hard, cheeks burning now, and exhales a shaky laugh]

I wondered if it was just me, getting lost in your beautiful eyes. I don't think Erich noticed, but I'm sure Lahabrea did.

[cute cute cute cute cute

bringing a hand back around to cup his cheek]

He most certainly did.

[his tone remains light, but his smile tightens a little. actually thinking about lahabrea is not great right now]

[he tilts his head into that touch, and he lifts one of his hands to cover elidibus's on his cheek. his ears are pinned flat against his head, but there's nothing in his expression to suggest discomfort--quite the opposite]

Even though, this is all complicated... I don't mind. I want you to have what you want. If I'm being completely honest...

[////]

My feelings for you were, um. "Complicated", even before we met in Elpis.

[he strokes ahrun'ya's cheek with his thumb, but pauses halfway through the motion and frowns]

...Why?

[he lowers his eyes]

Because I wanted to understand you. I wanted to believe there was a way I could reach you. Even when I was so, so angry with you, even when I hated you... some part of me still wished to just talk to you. Like we were old friends, or something. I-it wasn't romantic or anything at the time, it was just... longing, I guess.

[takes a breath and lets it out]

And then I went to Elpis and I met this beautiful, handsome man who was so smart and clever and strong, and... as soon as I knew who you were, I was done for.

[oh no he should not have asked oh no

so far he's mostly managed to keep his composure even while getting flustered, but now the facade breaks. he ducks his head, cheeks burning.]

Ridiculous.

[huffs, fondly]

Like you're any better.

[turns his head and kisses the inside of elidibus's palm]

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