psl with noah!!

[rainshaveceased]

Comments

[rainshaveceased]

...I would appreciate that.

[which part does he mean, who knows]

[waywardsong]

Would you mind if I finished it, eventually...? Added something to the end part?

[rainshaveceased]

That would only be appropriate, would it not?

[waywardsong]

I figured I'd ask. You know... I feel like I understand you better now.

[rainshaveceased]

Is that so? What insight have you gained, I wonder?

[waywardsong]

That you have a lot of love in your heart, for one thing. But I wonder... if anyone's shown you the kind of love and devotion you have for others.

[rainshaveceased]

[that. stuns him speechless actually? how dare you come to his house and attack him in this manner?]

[waywardsong]

[ahrun'ya sets down the lute and stands, going over to sit next to elidibus on the piano bench, facing away from the piano but turned so he can look at him properly.

he's anxious, but determined, licking his lips]

Can I hold you?

[rainshaveceased]

[oh no

what is he going to do how does he survive this. is he going to have to kill ahrun'ya? maybe a surprise attack right now would snap him awake, granting elidibus a chance to escape?

no. that would run the risk that he'd come back the next time he falls asleep and demand an explanation, which would be mortifying to provide. the only option is to endure.

he nods]

[waywardsong]

[prepare yourself for a hug, mr. emissary. ahrun'ya leans in and wraps his arms around elidibus, face tucked into his shoulder. one of his ears flicks as it brushes some of elidibus's hair.

softly, he says:]

Thank you. For being someone so loving. If it had been me you were fighting for... I would have been so, so lucky.

[rainshaveceased]

[actually this was a mistake. all feelings were a mistake and expressing feelings in any way was the greatest mistake of all.

which is to say he clngs to ahrun'ya very tightly and shakes, very nearly crying]

[waywardsong]

[yeah unfortunately for how much of an airhead ahrun'ya can be, he's pretty good at recognizing fellow touch-starved people. he holds him close through the shaking, one hand petting his hair]

[rainshaveceased]

[it's so shameful, so utterly mortifying, so disgusting. for elidibus, the emissary to the convocation, to struggle not to weep while he's held like a child by someone who is, for all intents and purposes, an enemy of his people.

and yet, another part of him is deeply, desperately grateful. that part does not care about the indignity or the impropriety and just enjoys being in another's embrace]

[waywardsong]

[for someone like ahrun'ya, who craves physical affection and gets moody and depressed when he goes too long without it, the thought of elidibus keeping himself at a distance for the sake of duty and devotion for so long--is heartbreaking. despite all his complicated feelings, his heartache at the thought of all he and his friends have suffered at the hands of this man, there's nothing he wants more than to hold him. there are some wounds that only touch can heal--this, ahrun'ya believes.

which may explain why he starts purring, a deep rumble in his chest that echoes into his throat]

[rainshaveceased]

[the sound makes elidibus stiffen in surprise for a moment. he was not prepared for this.

but it is a soothing sound, healing in a literal sense, and after the initial reaction he relaxes]

[waywardsong]

[ahrun'ya doesn't realize he's purring until elidibus makes a noise, and then chuckles softly, a tad embarrassed]

Sorry, force of habit...

[rainshaveceased]

It's fine. Merely unexpected.

[waywardsong]

... okay.

[he'll keep holding elidibus until he wishes to be let go, continuing to pet his hair that smells really nice]

[rainshaveceased]

[he does eventually pull away reluctantly]

...Regarding your earlier words, there is something I would like to say.

[waywardsong]

[ahrun'ya feels reluctant as well, though he doesn't cling, lowering his arms]

Yeah?

[rainshaveceased]

Though I fully understand you may not see it that way, I did fight for you.

[waywardsong]

[...]

I thought you might say that. I... get it. I don't see it the way you do, but... I get it.

[rainshaveceased]

Our goal was ever the same, the salvation of the star. We simply had incompatible perspectives on what that meant.

[waywardsong]

"Simply".

[he does smile a little, as he glances down to the space between them]

I think those perspectives are important to have, even if they're incompatible. You... all of you Ascians have forced me to think about things I never wanted to. Things that are uncomfortable... or difficult, or painful... but if I never thought about them, I never would have learned. So... thank you.

[lifts his gaze and smiles at him, a bit cheeky]

For being a stubborn arse.

[rainshaveceased]

...It gives me some comfort to hear that. To know that in some ways, it was not all for naught.